When the volume is just right

Body wisdom provides each of us with an amazing, innate source of guidance. We know so much through our bodies. We are gathering information all the time. If a recognition of messages and then a willingness to practice a response to this wisdom are the first steps toward living fully and authentically, what is the next step?

Here is what I have been considering since last week’s post…

A clearly expressed response to a deep knowing is more powerfully received by others, and the imprint of this (how it feels in your body when your authenticity is received) is helpful in strengthening your relationship to your inner guide.

When I did some yoga training in India, the first part of my trip I spent at an ashram and then I went off travelling on my own for the remainder of my time. Leaving the ashram was sobering. I was plunged into a very different world. It was still vibrant and alive; aromas, colours, the people, animals and all the activity. India continued to be magical in so many ways but my nervous system had immediately moved into high alert.

The first taxi driver that took me from the ashram to the train station grabbed my breasts instead of my bags.

The first market I explored, I literally had a crowd following me through it. I had told one woman my name when I was looking at bracelets and by the time I moved on from there, I had my name carved into all kinds of things that I was told I had to buy, like a wooden dagger and a creepy doll with my name etched onto her forehead.

I met a healer by the River Ganges who asked me to write the first names of my loved ones in his book so he could include them in his prayers, he then placed fresh flowers in my hands, waved incense, chanted and said if I didn’t give money, in American dollars, that the powerful Mother Ganges would seek revenge on the names I’d written in his book.

I endlessly paid for taxi rides to nowhere because regardless of where I said I wanted to go, I was almost always dropped me off somewhere else entirely.

I paid for a tour to visit landmarks only to visit vendor after vendor near the landmarks to buy goods. On and on it went.

What I didn’t realize was that India was grooming my relationship with my inner guide in a way I didn’t recognize until my final week. I met and travelled with a woman who had just arrived in India from Europe. With her at my side the contrast was undeniable; she was who I had been when I arrived.

I began to recognize that my ‘no’ had gradually become grounded and valid. Hers wasn’t. When I said no or requested a direct answer to something, I did so with my entire body. She said the word no and hoped. I also had miraculously shifted from believing that being hustled was the same as being hassled. It wasn’t the same at all. I could find joy through interactions but she was still too on edge. Generally, the people I met had simply ‘tried me on’. I was basically asked over and over and over again, “Will you accept this as your reality?”

How do you do the same thing in your life? When do you respond to life’s pressure, expectations and challenges with an averted gaze, with a soft no or coerced yes. When do your survival skills depend on avoiding the hussle and the hassle. When do you hide and bury your head? When do you allow yourself to believe that when someone else ‘tries you on’ that you have no choices available to you?

There are plenty of times that I have resorted to the don’t-rock-the-boat programming of my upbringing. Sometimes getting along and going with the flow is appropriate and other times it is a poor choice. Your body knows. And it is all learning.

Something to try: This week follow through on what your body knows even when a situation falls outside the line of comfort for you and others, or it places your need to be liked at risk, or if it means that you must be willing to lose something that you want. Be open to observation on how it feels in your body to recognize the message, to be willing to practice a response and finally, to notice how it feels when what you authentically put out into the world is received. Notice it all.