The Weight You Carry

On one of our canoe camping trips with friends this summer I could hear this blog post writing itself; the wisdom of the woods was a total chatter-box, especially on the third day.

We paddled a fair way and then came to our portage that was just a little under 1km. The terrain wasn’t as tough as the portage a couple of days prior but it was muddy. In fact, the trail told a pretty good story about the effect of thick mud on those treading through with heavy packs and canoes. There were two different abandoned shoes (presumably more than one person), wanted to see the lake on the other side so much that they just kept going and didn’t look back even when their shoe was sucked clean off their foot.

I could easily imagine how they must have felt. The pack I was carrying was ridiculously heavy; I actually couldn’t lift it on to my own back. Once I was strapped in, moving forward and staying on my feet was my goal. In places that were particularly muddy, losing my balance wasn’t an ideal option even though I was tested a lot walking along logs that were placed in the thick of it or trying to find tree roots or rocks to avoid sinking into the mud. Finally I reached the end, grateful to take off the pack, to catch my breath and drink some water.

When we were all gathered at the end of the trail, I realized I had to double back for a few extra things that were left behind.

I walked back along the exact same trail with no pack. I was lighter, more energetic and agile but it wasn’t just the feeling of my body that instantly transformed. There were still lots of muddy spots. I saw the same detours around the mud I’d seen previously but I also saw alternate routes that were literally not part of my awareness when I was weighted down by the pack I carried. Those options didn’t exist for me because I didn’t see them. On the way back, I hopped from rock to rock and over tree roots and around trees. I could now more easily navigate. I was looking wider and farther. The trail also seemed brighter. I noticed the different shades of green as the light filtered through the trees. I saw birds and butterflies and chipmunks. My perspective was expansive and I had a range of choices.

Get Out of the Muck

Isn’t this also true with the weight we may choose to carry through our lives? Demanding relationships, endless tasks and responsibilities, destructive habits, retelling ourselves stories about the way things should be or have always been. When it feels like you are carrying the weight of the world on your back, your vision narrows and so do the options available to you. With your head down, trudging through the muck to your destination you can miss the quality, affects and beauty of the light and life in the trees. It may not be necessary to carry the weight you bear to begin with and other times we may not realize when we get to the end of the trail that taking off the bags we carry is even an option. Sometimes we can get used to seeing no way out of the mud or beyond the well-travelled trail.

Something to Think About

Get honest about the weight you carry. What stories do you tell yourself that you can let go of? In your quiet moments, what do you know in your heart would leave you lighter and more agile than ever if you set down the weight of it for good?